master bedroom = peace and love

master bedroom

I do sleep nice and cozy in my peaceful room. I love it! I have always felt like a master bedroom should be a sanctuary, no tv (finally won that argument) in it to be distracted by, no work, just relax. I love to sit and read, talk with my lumber jake and shut the door and lock it when the kids get to much for me and I need a breath.
I am in love with these lights I got for my room, I love the placement of them. I love how they illuminate. I like love I don’t have to get out of bed to turn them off (switch by the headboard). We thought long and hard about details in the house, and I am so glad we did.

I like change and pillows are a nice, inexpensive way to change up a room. I am so glad that my local target (a mere 2 hour drive away) makes my love of change possible. Affordable, yet very stylish. I also change pillows around my house switching them from room to room. I alway get the comment, “is that new?” I say “no. I just borrowed them from another room.”

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three shades of blue!!

I couldn’t decide what color of blue I should use in our sunken family room, so I did all three. I love a good big stipe, so I did three. I finally felt like painting. My relationship with painting my walls has healed and am anxious to do more. I brightened up the room. I am so happy with my hue’s of blue. And I got a little crazy with some spray paint. I am in love with the stuff. I am ready to spray paint everything, but decided to just start with two furniture items.
My shades of blue are bolder in person and I used yellow to accent. It took me only two days to do all this and made me so happy. I love this, creating, painting, changing a room. It has been very therapeutic for me. I am ready to do more.

The three blue shades are in the same family. That is the easiest way to do stripes if you don’t have the eye for color. You can also so the same color of paint just in different finishes. A semi gloss finish will be darker than a satin finish, and will give you subtle color difference. Just a little tip.

lovin blue’s

loving blue’s with yellows

loving blue

When I get into painting the walls, I get into painting everything. These two tables used to be brown but with some wonderful spray paint and a bit of sanding, it transforms them. I am addicted to change in my house, and when I paint a wall, I get inspired to change other colors as well. Lumber Jake always gets nervous when I say I am going to paint furniture, especially wood, but I think he was pleasantly surprised with the out come. Bring on the spray paint, I am ready for more change. I am thankful for lumber jake and the fact he will let me do this and let me be who I want to be.

loving spray paint

loving spray paint

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worth it or not

In our 15 years of marriage we’ve been given the opportunity to remodeled/built 7 different homes. Five we have lived in and two have been spec homes. We had a couple of different goals in doing this, but one thing that came out of building so many houses we weren’t expecting is we knew what worked or didn’t work, we new what we would use or wouldn’t use. Here are just a few of the things I new I wanted and would do it again in a heart beat, and one that we could have saved the money on.

dishwasher

I do a lot of dishes. I rarely use paper products and I use every pot and bowl in the house when I cook (it seems) because in my last house was doing dishes three times a day. Five monkey’s + mommy and daddy create a lot of dishes to do, so I knew I wanted two dish washers, and I have never regretted it. Money well spent.
Something that wasn’t planned, that I love, is the two dish washers are two different models, one model has a third row for more dishes and doesn’t work for large items. The other model doesn’t, making it usable for larger pots, plates and cookie sheets. We choose Asko and it is so quiet and washes really well. It also has a timer on it to delay washings.

master laundry

I get the a lot of comments, especially from women about this. Stackable washer and dryer in my master closet. The often have a moment of silence when they walk through. I am in total agreement. A washer and dryer in the master closet, if you have the room, is delightful. The bonus that I have found is that lumber jake will put in loads of his own laundry himself. I have liked this perk. We choose the Bosch brand and I really love it. I can’t say that for my regular front loaders in my mud room that are kenmoore (I would not buy those again).

my sheep rug

I have this rug in master bed room. I wanted a big white shag rug, it was a little more than I wanted to spend (at overstock.com) but I decided to just do it so I closed my eyes and hit purchase. A few days later my dodge lover bro in law called from smoot store saying my sheep just arrived (at that time UPS wouldn’t deliver up to the trees).
It was so worth the money, it is shaggy, and so thick the strands are longer than my own hair. It does shed a little but to roll on it is so much fun.

drinking fountain

I thought how fun it would be to have a drinking fountain right when you come in the door and the kids would use it all the time. They don’t. I mean they use it every once in a while, but I thought my kids would drink more water having one in the house but they just don’t. I have to practically beg my younger monkey’s to drink out it. But maybe if it was fruit punch, they would.

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traditions in the trees

FHE

I am all about traditions. I am in love with them. Holidays, birthdays, and even every days. This last month we might have found a new tradition in our life in the trees. Here is me and monkey #5 being a team ready to play a game of sardines in the trees. Our whole family went out one night, lumber jake took monkey #4 and went off into the trees to hide. All the rest of us waited, and waited. Monkey #5 was way to excited to wait until 100 so she said, “ready or not, here we come!” In her own little language, and we were off. It was so fun. It was twilight and our kitties (when they were alive) would travel with us, and we trampled over branches, breathed in woods and wet dirt. At last we spotted them under a big pine tree and monkey #5 let out a big, “HEY” when we saw them. They all got a turn to hide and it was fun making noises of every kind of animal we could think of, and some I am not quite sure it is an animal at all, to let them know if they were close of not. We came in after it started to sprinkle and had hot cocoa. Cozy.

do they see us??

waiting for monkey 3

starting to make animal noises

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life lesson…my son

living in the hospital

I found out I was pregnant with monkey #4 the weekend my monkey #2 ended all her meds for her first round of chemo. It was such a happy weekend. Things were good. Fast Forward 4 months and she was starting her treatment for her relapse. Devastation. Why now? I am pregnant. I have to stay multiple nights and weeks in a hospital bed being pregnant. Everything was 10 times harder because I was pregnant. Why now? My thought was and I was told this several times, maybe it is because your baby will be a match for her. There is nothing better than a sibling donor of bone marrow. None of my other monkey’s was a matched. Ok, this is why. I can handle this. He will save her.
December came, I was due five days after she was suppose to be in the hospital for prep treatment before transplant, I needed him to come early. I stayed home most of this month because I was so close to my due date and I new he would just come when I wanted him to. We needed to see if he was a match. He needed to save her.

hanging out in the hospital bed

He wasn’t coming. The 12th of Dec, came and went, the 15th of dec. came and went. I begged my doctor to start me early and explained the situation. She thought I was a nut job and said so to the other doctors. I switched doctors. New doctor said he could help me and he has done cord blood donation before. Thank the Lord.
I was frustrated beyond belief that my boy was not coming, does he not realize how important this was? I was assured by monkey #2′s bone marrow doctor they had a very good match for her, one that matched her all but one of the chromosomes. They couldn’t ask for a better one. But I was still hoping for my boy, this is why this all happened when it did. Because his cord blood was going to save her.
I was told by a good friend that my boy was nervous to come. I thought, why? This is his mission. He needs to come. My friend calmly said, he doesn’t feel your love. So then I tried, and tried. I talked to him, I said it was ok to come, I said private things while tears streamed down my face. He didn’t come. They ended up starting me two weeks before my due date. He did not come on his own. Luckily my good doctor understood my situation, delivered me and was able to get his cord blood sent to Primary’s. I felt a bit of relief.
They took blood from my son the day we left the hospital so they could test if he was a match. It was December 23. It was a holiday weekend, the blood sat in the truck until the 25 undelivered, it had not been tested. It was no good anymore. I was suppose to move into the hospital in 6 day’s and I was running my baby around trying to get his blood retested. I had to hold his head still while they got blood out of the only place they could get blood from, while he screamed.

A day later we get a call: “His test results came back as a match, but we are sorry to inform you they didn’t get enough cord blood to do the procedure.”
“What!”
I was devastated. That was his mission. He was suppose to save her. I had to refocus my thoughts and feelings and after that day. Then a voice whispered into my mind: “he has his own mission.”

living at the Ronald McDonald house

We packed up and moved to Primary Children’s Medical Center oncology dept room 118. New born, post partum mom, and cancer patient. It will be ok, he will be a good baby. He has been so far.
He was not. He cried mosts nights. One night I got a total of 1 hour sleep between him crying, feeding, nurses, and sisters needs. I wished the nurses could help but it was RSV season and they just couldn’t risk spreading infection to cancer patients. I get that, but did not help my stress level. I finally told monkey 2 I needed rest so I was going to the Ronald McDonald house we had set up. Guilt overwhelmed me. She didn’t want me to go, but I needed sleep to function. It didn’t help, because he cried most the night.
He was suppose to be a good baby. I already had a lot on my plate. I was calling wonderful pediatrician, saying what can I do? Why is he crying so much. I didn’t eat broccoli, chocolate, and milk. He was just suppose to be good. Doesn’t he know how much stress I am under. I loved him, I did, but I had no idea why he was such a hard baby. I was exhausted.

cute smile

Fast Forward to almost 5 years. Things are great with monkey#2, she survived, she is doing so well! We move. But Monkey #4 is still my most difficult child. He won’t go to church activities with out holding onto me or dad. He won’t play at anyones house. He and I have arguments about it constantly. There are tantrums. Even dad looses his temper. What is wrong??
This summer I have another whisper in my ear. We tell monkey #4 of our love, we spend time with him, but when we ever tell any of our other monkey’s we love them, he always says, “What about me, don’t you love me?” He doesn’t feel accepted by you, the whisper said. His whole beginning of his first year of life still has a presence in his now. He had a big responsibly in life, that I gave him, he should not have had to carry. I needed to show him I accepted him. So when a tantrum started, I decided to grab him and hugged him. I sat him on my lap and rocked him, and told him it was ok. I did this multiple times, kissed him on his forehead and said,”I love you” set him down and off he went. Tears gone.
I now get comments about his transformation of what happened to him, he is a different little guy. He will go willingly into church, I didn’t even have to take him into preschool his first day. He went and played with a neighbor boy without tears or argument. The mother even noticed and said how much he had changed. He even played soccer at the end of summer when at the beginning of spring he would sit in the truck crying at tee ball, not wanting to play.
I had no idea the feelings I had when he was in the womb, and the first year of life would affect him so much. It is uncomfortable for me to reveal some of the thoughts I had about him at that time of my life, but what I learned I need to remember. It was a huge life lesson. He is more confident and our relationship is changed forever.

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the conversation of money

my four girls

Before I was married, I did what all girls hopefully do, I wondered how many kids I would have and wondered what they would be. I wanted a boy first and a girl second and then more boys. I wanted mostly boys. I was a tom boy growing up, I felt more comfortable with boys. I was not too girly, so I thought what would I do with a lot of girls. Well I am glad someone new better for me.
I had three girls in a row and blessed with little girl at the end. When I knew I would have a girl first I was scared. How am I going to be a mother to a girl. Dress her like a girl. I hated pink. So monkey #1 was thought of as a boy on more than one occasion (there was not the cute clothes they had now days 14 years ago). The more and more girls I had the more I grasped onto the girly wagon. I am not so opposed to pink these days, just a certain type of pink…also accompanied with ruffles or lace. When I was young my mom said she wanted to put me into a dress light pink with ruffles. I cried and cried.
The one thing I like about having four girls is we get to shop. I have shopping companions. When monkey #1 was a little munchkin she would reach up to the hangers and push each item aside, look, and push it to the other side revealing the next shirt and say, “ohhh pretty!” We had a girls day this past weekend, we needed something for school so we made a day of it. Well we had no choice since any shopping to do here is 2 hours away. The girls had their own money they earned putting up firewood. Monkey #3, taking after me, comes up to me and said,”Do I have to pay for the 95 for the earrings?” Looking at the tag that said 3.95, I said, “Yes you will have to pay 4.00 for these earring.”
“Four dollars??!”
I said, “Yes it says it is 3.95 and then you have to pay tax so it will be a little more than 4 dollars.”
Slumping her shoulders defeated she said, “well I don’t have enough money for these.”
Me: “How much do you have left?”
Her:” three dollars and twenty.”
I chuckled and said to her that she did have enough to buy them because 20 dollars is 20 one dollar bills.
She did not quite get what I was telling her. I could see the confused looked on her face but then it was quickly replaced by the fact I said she did have enough money and quickly went to buy them.
A few minutes later she ran up to me and said in happy shocked disbelief,”He gave me thirteen dollars back?!”
Ahhh how she takes after me. I had to laugh as well thinking how hubby would not have understood the conversation that just took place.

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monkey’s 1, 2 and 3

at photo shoots

I have three girls right in a row, each 2 1/2 years apart, but they couldn’t be more different. This photo above I framed and hung up in our house because it depicts their personalities and I always want to remember. Monkey 1 in the photos is always trying to be obedient, and at the same time annoyed with monkey #3′s tendency to not want to obey. Monkey #2 is alway day dreaming, sweet and thoughtful. Monkey #3 can’t sit still and is always being “forced” as you can see in every single situation.

in the car

in the outdoors

at home

more photo shoots

at the holidays

In this photo monkey #3 is blurry because she just won’t sit still!

Every day as I take them down to the bus stop this is the routine, Oldest Monkey get out serious faced, getting her things together and heads straight to the bus not saying a word. Monkey #2 before she hops out says her thanks, then an I love you. She shuts the door and walks to the bus but before she gets into the bus she turns around and has a last wave to me. Monkey #3 is out the door before I stop the car and is running to the bus her bags jiggling on her outstretched arms.
It is not only so cute for me as a mom to notice these differences but our neighbor who also drops her monkey off at the bus has noticed as well, telling me the same scenario I see. Monkey 1 straight to the bus, monkey 2 waving to her with a smile, and monkey 3 running to the bus like the bus is about to leave with all her bags not quite on her shoulder.
I love to looks at these pictures, it makes me smile to have such different personalities in my three girls.
I love them to pieces!

sorry about the technical difficulties with this post, hubby is not home to help me and my lack of skills with the computer.

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LOTs of personality

My monkey #3 could have her own reality tv show. Before she was one year old she would pull the funniest faces. I always had to wait months and months getting pregnant with all my monkey’s, except for this one, she was my surprise. Foreshadowing? I think so!
At the age of 2 I couldn’t keep the child in the house, early in the morning she would be found out side in the cul-de-sac, in just her undies, a pair of high heels and a purse driving in her red and yellow play car (best purchase ever made). A scary thing and funny at the same time.

Where I love her so much and am thankful for her bubbly spirit and drama, with that comes energy, hyper activity, scatterbrained and disobedience. At times making it exhausting.
Her school teacher last year was concerned about her having ADHD. I looked up the symptoms commonly associated with it and she has every single on of them. I thought in time she would grow out of it, but it seems to be getting worse. She should be acting older not younger. Her school work is suffering, she can’t stay on task and even given a special chair in school that helps get the wiggles out, it had to be taken away from her because it over stimulated her. Melatonin to sleep at night helps, and we have tried to limit her sugar intake but we saw no dramatic difference. It is fun and exhausting at the same time to have her personality, but she doesn’t know how to control it very well. She has not been fully diagnosed yet, but we have the papers being sent to us. Mental health papers. When I heard that is made me a bit sad and scared, but we need to get it under control. It is sad to me, because I love her bubbly spirit, her dramatic play, her loving personality, and I don’t want those to go away if she goes on medication. I talked quite a bit about it to our loving, caring pediatrician, I wanted her opinion and she said kids, if undiagnosed, could struggle in school, have self esteem problems because they are always getting in trouble at home because they struggle in school.
I feel like I am already doing that. I get after her so much, focusing on negative behavior, that she is wearing down. She even gets told what not to do from her siblings. She hates when I tell her to focus, but I have no idea what else to do. I know it will just get worse. Just this morning she was in tears because she can’t remember to do her assignments because she is busy playing, jumping around and loses focus so easy.

This is a new road we are taking. I am nervous about it, about the meds, about side effects, about how her personality may alter (good or bad). But we need a change. She and I and her daddy, are exhausted with how things are going right now.
So here we go.

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could be worse…a not for the kitties


Some things change and somethings don’t. Monkey #1 shooting a gun is something I never thought I would see and who new she would hit the bulls eye twice in a row! Monkey #3 out in her underwear in high heels early in the morning sing and dancing is an often occurrence ever since she was 3 years old, makes me smile.
Now on to my story. You know the children’s book about the grandpa always telling his grandkids “it could be worse” every time they come to him with a problem? Well not the case with the Tina and Bones.

Our kitties love to sit up on the wheels of our cars to keep warm. We are always careful when we drive out of the garage to go slow and cautious. I needed to go out early one morning on a trip to logan, backed out of the garage, felt a bump, looked to see nothing but a toy the kitties play with so I went on. I get a call a while later while driving from lumber jake saying ” Did you know you ran over the bones?” our sweet white kitty. My heart sank. “What?” almost in tears. Monkey #4 apparently came running into lumber jakes office tears brimming in his eyes holding (dead) bones hunched over his shoulder saying, “I need you dad. Bones isn’t doing anything!!” Blood was on the garage floor.
I guess my slow reverse didn’t wake the kitty up and I ran over it. Lumber jake went and buried the kitty.
Later that day it was time to go get the two monkey’s off their bus, and we were regretting what we needed to tell them. They will be devastated! I was still in logan when I get another phone call. Monkey #2 got off the bus and found tina at the end of our road laying on the ground barely alive. HOw in the world had it gotten a mile away from home? We think she got in the truck wheel well and got carried down there.
They brought it back home but she wouldn’t eat or move. I told them to try warm milk. It drank a bit of that and started moving around a little but only with her front legs, dragging the back ones behind. Oh I felt awful, do we put it out of its misery? After a few hours it seemed to be doing better, maybe we should wait.
Over the night tina died. Tender hearted monkey 2 was in tears.
I had to get more kitties for them. I called, looked on ksl, called some more, went to a house to get some kitties I called on but no one was there. I inquired info from internet and grocery store. When you need kitties they are no where to be found. I finally heard that we have a humane society to adopt pets. So me and lumber jake got in the truck and drove 20 minutes to look at some kitties. They are not yet old enough to come to our house yet, so we wait. I was ready to adopt a lot more than just those two kitties we got. Every animal I saw there an “ahhhhh” came out of my mouth and wanted to take it home. I don’t think hubby is going to let me go there very often. The puppies I saw there were the cutest things I have ever seen, and if it were not for them being adopted already, we would be an owner of another white fluffy dog. I guess we will just have to settle on the kitties with our name on them. But I can’t help but wonder if these kitties just signed their death sentence.
Total kitty death in the house in the trees in one year, 5.

R.I.P. Tina, you fat lard and sweet bones. you were cute, playful kitties we will place the new kitties in a place other than the garage.

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a brick wall

mason work

I love old world style. Boston or New York where they have loft apartments with large brick walls. I have always wanted one. We set out to find a brick looking to be old style and even the mason was nice enough to cut the brick and lay it in the old style, even though it took more work.
I feel so grateful to have the wants on my list for my dream house come true (thank you lumber jake). I love it. This wall is in our basement which we are slowly chipping away at getting down. I may even be able to say I feel the urge to paint! I might have just committed myself once hubby reads this.
This wall is the work the mason was doing when we figured out our well wasn’t performing enough for our house full of monkey’s. We have the permit done to get a new one, we have been calling everyday in hopes they will come out, but we have no new well dug. Do they not realize the ground will be frozen, like, tomorrow?! We have to alternate showers, alternate dishwasher, and laundry and not flush the toilet if the laundry is going or else a loud pumping sound will erupt and barely get the water down and refill. It is a blessing in disguise the masons left the water on for days, so we can get our water problem solved, because I was wondering for a whole year why we have dirt in our washer and bath tubs.

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