fast balls and curve balls

Life can throw you some fast balls, ones that come at you and you don’t even see it coming spinning you around and around. Life can also throw you curved balls, you think it will go one way and then it goes in another direction.

My fast ball was cancer, leukemia, for my 4 year old daughter. It hit so fast and were spun into the world of the education of A.L.L, chemo, hair loss, picc lines, sickness, steroids and moon face and lots and lots of antibiotics, that we didn’t know what hit us. One day she was limping, had pain in her leg and hip and the next we were in a hospital bed for a week bombarded with information in stunned unbelief.

1st week in hospital for leukemia

she had no idea what was going on

our faces say it all. We were devastated but at the same time we wanted to fight it, we were a team!

My curve ball is more of a personal nature and it was going on at the same time as the fast ball. It is rather hard to try and hit two balls coming at you at the same time. I cried a lot. Sometime I cried so much I got irritated at myself, rolling my eyes and wishing the tears away. However I did learn how best to fight back the tears when someone who kindly asks you how your daughter is and you don’t want to embarrass yourself with a full on ugly cry. Press your tongue to the squishy part of the roof of your mouth, way in the back, and for some reason it can stop the tears.

A lot of people would tell me they don’t know how I did it, or asked how I handle it. You really just go on auto pilot. You do what you have to do but every once in a while you crash, you don’t want to talk to anyone not even your family you sit in your room and give into the ugly cry you have been pressing back. This is my other tip for the balls life throws at you. Baths.

baths!

I love baths and one therapeutic way to have a bath, I did often, is when you have soaked until you are pruney, pull the plug of the tub, but stay in it. Lay back and close your eyes and while the water is draining, the sensation you feel of the weight of the water going down the drain is therapy. I imagine my pain and stress and anxiety are going down the drain with the water. When all the water is gone you feel lighter and renewed. It helped me a lot with all the worry and stress you feel as a care taker and mother of a child who is sick and you have no control over their outcome.

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2 Responses to fast balls and curve balls

  1. Megan Cochran says:

    Oh this is how I remember your cute girls! They are so dang cute!!!!! Oh how I miss you guys and the time we had as neighbors in Logan. Sure love you all.

  2. Charly says:

    I really loved this post Stacie. I teared up. You guys are so strong. I think I might try your bath time therapy someday… when I have a tub.

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